tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1601619173287333870.post8517312406572628674..comments2023-06-18T04:18:00.713-04:00Comments on #ericcentric: Friendship. Rape. Where Do You Draw The Line?Eric Kamanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18442357450377313103noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1601619173287333870.post-71676821536864961092013-03-31T09:54:48.980-04:002013-03-31T09:54:48.980-04:00That's an interesting perspective, but I'm...That's an interesting perspective, but I'm not convinced about the friendship part. First of all, where does is say that friendship is about being there for your friend <b>no matter what</b>? While we like to say that is the case, I don't actually think it is realistically feasible. What we try to have are friends that would never doing anything that would jeopardize our friendship. In reality there can be irreconcilable differences.<br /><br />For what it's worth, while I wouldn't say I launched a campaign of persuasion, the discussions, debates, and arguments on the issue were extensive. I just did not get into them in any detail here. So while there could have possibly been more that I could have done to bring about an attitude shift, I don't understand how he was right.<br /><br />There's a lot of ways that this guy could eventually "get it." More people drawing that line would definitely have a greater impact. Maybe it will be the girl he eventually married. Maybe it will be the daughter he eventually had/has. Unfortunately for some people empathy takes personal interest or investment.kamanderhttp://eric.kamander.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1601619173287333870.post-43736822034548345492013-03-20T12:17:06.377-04:002013-03-20T12:17:06.377-04:00I think you guys are both right in a way. Friendsh...I think you guys are both right in a way. Friendship is about being there for your friend no matter what, but "being there for them" shouldn't mean that you endorse, condone, support, or excuse everything they do. We influence or friends to change their beliefs and behaviors all the time, sometimes in minor ways, and sometimes major ones, and drawing a line in the sand about what is or isn't cool is particularly righteous, but most of the time it doesn't bring about the kind of attitude shift that comes through a campaign of persuasion. That's how peer pressure works. It's not a dude saying "rape this girl right now!" It's a pattern of acculturation, acceptance, and comfort with a set of assumptions that over time can animate what sounds like a casual request to a command. It's soft power over hard power, and sadly, bad people do it better than good people do, because good people need it more, but bad people WANT it more.<br /><br />Pop culture uses the trope of the angel and the devil on people's shoulders, where the Superego and the Id try to sway the Ego into doing right or doing wrong. Our friends bolster those voices, and your pushback might have been sufficient to bring about an epiphany in many misguided people, but not for this guy. However, we don't know how much pushback would have led to that epiphany, if at all. You are well within your rights to say that it's not your responsibility to try to bring about that understanding in your friend, just as your other friends might also have concluded the same thing when they "let it go." But somewhere along the line, if your friend is going to "get it," *someone* has to assist him. He clearly had people in his life who were steering him in the other direction, and once you left his life, he had one fewer strong-willed person pulling him the other way.Michael Terrell Ford IIIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02860089794622225596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1601619173287333870.post-42987292517365797462013-03-20T07:19:37.245-04:002013-03-20T07:19:37.245-04:00Reading Raising Children Who Will Speak Up to Prev...Reading <a href="http://t.co/SnqXeInmXt" rel="nofollow">Raising Children Who Will Speak Up to Prevent Rape, Not Defend It</a>, it seems that the holistic approach to teaching empathy is overlooked, as is the importance of teaching and prioritizing principals over popularity and acceptance.kamanderhttp://eric.kamander.com/noreply@blogger.com